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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Out of Balance
When I enter the Utah desert, I am immediately changed, and any measurement of time is only in day and night, light and dark. To match my rhythms to the pace of desert life takes no effort. The desert easily transforms me.
In the desert, we spend time preparing for our three day solo, then after we have returned from our solo, we spend time telling our stories and preparing for the return to our "homes" that are in what some might consider "the real world". During our three day solo, we are each alone in a sacred place of our choosing, out away from everyone else. We have no food for those three days and nights, only water, and we have no tent, only a tarp to protect from rain. Before we go out on our own, we are taught good skills, some of which include spiritual rituals to take us deeper into our being and help us be more in tune with the earth.
So, coming from this deep place of slow rhythms and seeing all as holy, I still ponder the events that one of our fellow questers experienced. During his solo, he came upon a man and his pet pit bull. The man was carrying a pistol. My friend tried to avoid contact with the man, since we are there to be alone, but the dog, having dog nature, ran up to greet my friend. In their conversation, my friend found out that the man works for the oil industry and is burned out, so was out in the desert shooting rabbits to relax.
Hard to understand the relaxation that can be brought about by the killing of a sentient being. But when I think of the raping of the land that is required to constantly quench our thirst for oil and gas, when I think of the way that we work humans to death to raise profits and the stress to be had when one knows that there are limits to the natural resources we are draining, causing us to wheel and deal and kill and lie to get all that we can from wherever it is, when I think of all of these things, I understand, somewhat, where this oil man was coming from. When we are out of balance, violence can seem like a reasonable path to finding the peace that we are looking for. Like striking out at someone we love when we are hurting inside, thus making ourselves more alone and hurting. It is hard, when we feel agitated and confused, to slow down and be willing to suffer the effects of our imbalance, to just be with the pain and hear the wisdom it has to offer. If that man did just that, he might hear inside himself, the calling to quit his job. Or he might change relationships. Maybe stuff like that is harder than taking a rabbit's life.
In the desert, we spend time preparing for our three day solo, then after we have returned from our solo, we spend time telling our stories and preparing for the return to our "homes" that are in what some might consider "the real world". During our three day solo, we are each alone in a sacred place of our choosing, out away from everyone else. We have no food for those three days and nights, only water, and we have no tent, only a tarp to protect from rain. Before we go out on our own, we are taught good skills, some of which include spiritual rituals to take us deeper into our being and help us be more in tune with the earth.
So, coming from this deep place of slow rhythms and seeing all as holy, I still ponder the events that one of our fellow questers experienced. During his solo, he came upon a man and his pet pit bull. The man was carrying a pistol. My friend tried to avoid contact with the man, since we are there to be alone, but the dog, having dog nature, ran up to greet my friend. In their conversation, my friend found out that the man works for the oil industry and is burned out, so was out in the desert shooting rabbits to relax.
Hard to understand the relaxation that can be brought about by the killing of a sentient being. But when I think of the raping of the land that is required to constantly quench our thirst for oil and gas, when I think of the way that we work humans to death to raise profits and the stress to be had when one knows that there are limits to the natural resources we are draining, causing us to wheel and deal and kill and lie to get all that we can from wherever it is, when I think of all of these things, I understand, somewhat, where this oil man was coming from. When we are out of balance, violence can seem like a reasonable path to finding the peace that we are looking for. Like striking out at someone we love when we are hurting inside, thus making ourselves more alone and hurting. It is hard, when we feel agitated and confused, to slow down and be willing to suffer the effects of our imbalance, to just be with the pain and hear the wisdom it has to offer. If that man did just that, he might hear inside himself, the calling to quit his job. Or he might change relationships. Maybe stuff like that is harder than taking a rabbit's life.
posted by Carol at 11:11 AM
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