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Friday, March 31, 2006
The smaller wars
Sometimes I am amazed that I stay this hopeful for world peace in spite of all I see not only in the world, but all around me. All I have to do is stay engaged in any group dynamics and I can see the roots of war. A woman wants to change something about our Women in Black vigil. Various members respond in various ways. Do I play dictator and say that what I say goes, since I am the woman with the banner? Do I insist on consensus even though it may take years to reach? Do we seek a majority vote, knowing that we may lose the members that are in the minority? And this is a small group of women that are not doing anything more than standing in "peace"!!! It is hard work to stay engaged and go through process. It is sooo worth it, but it is really hard! I don't think people like "W" have taken any classes in Non-Violent Communication or anything similar. I have and it's still hard to do this work.
Then today, I was out digging weeds out of the garden so that I could plant my peas. It was a beautiful, warm and sunny day. The birds were chirping...until...my next door neighbor shot at one. I don't know if he hit it. If he did, he didn't kill it, because it got the hell out of here. It could be injured somewhere and that thought makes me sick. This has happened many times around here. We have talked with this kid, his mother, God, everyone but the police (We did call the police on the 70-something year old man behind us who used to do the same thing), but today, I was pushed over the edge - afraid, sad, mad - and I yelled obscenities at the top of my lungs, then picked up my cordless phone, which I had outside with me, and called 911. When the woman answered, I felt embarrassed. This probably wouldn't be considered a 911 call. I apologized, but she was nice and said that she would send an officer out. Of course the kid denied doing anything. When I asked him if it wasn't him, then who was it, he told me that these trees are so tall that you can see a bird on one from two blocks away (and...?). Well, I have to work to not feel some pretty HATEFUL feelings toward him, but I won't do a pre-emptive strike even though I KNOW that he has weapons of bird destruction.
Then today, I was out digging weeds out of the garden so that I could plant my peas. It was a beautiful, warm and sunny day. The birds were chirping...until...my next door neighbor shot at one. I don't know if he hit it. If he did, he didn't kill it, because it got the hell out of here. It could be injured somewhere and that thought makes me sick. This has happened many times around here. We have talked with this kid, his mother, God, everyone but the police (We did call the police on the 70-something year old man behind us who used to do the same thing), but today, I was pushed over the edge - afraid, sad, mad - and I yelled obscenities at the top of my lungs, then picked up my cordless phone, which I had outside with me, and called 911. When the woman answered, I felt embarrassed. This probably wouldn't be considered a 911 call. I apologized, but she was nice and said that she would send an officer out. Of course the kid denied doing anything. When I asked him if it wasn't him, then who was it, he told me that these trees are so tall that you can see a bird on one from two blocks away (and...?). Well, I have to work to not feel some pretty HATEFUL feelings toward him, but I won't do a pre-emptive strike even though I KNOW that he has weapons of bird destruction.
posted by Carol at 6:30 PM
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