How Military Families Speak Out Began

Nancy Lessin's stepson finished college before joining the military in 1998. In 1999, our military trained him in Arabic (a very convenient thing to do, considering what was going to happen four years later). He was sent to Iraq in the spring of 2003.

Meanwhile, in November of 2002, Nancy, her husband, and another family started Military Families Speak Out with the mission of stopping the war that was looming. In February of 2003, after congress turned over authority to W to start the war, the co-founders of MFSO sued W and Rumsfeld! They tried to get a restraining order to stop R & W from starting this war. But on 3-18-03, the suit failed. On 3-19-03 the bombs were launched.

MFSO started with a group of a few people who wanted to try to stop the war. Now the war has gone on for over three years, and they have over 3000 families as members. There are 25 chapters across the U.S.

The Families

Monday night, every one of the seven women at the table, except me, had a son in our military. We came together at Ruby Tuesdays out by Denver International Airport, because Nancy Lessin of MFSO was in town and wanted to meet with people who had family members serving in this war. (I came along as a curious witness and as the faux aunt of my friend's son. Now I probably have to start buying my new "nephew" gifts for holidays!). Nancy's great laugh peppers the many motivating stories she shares about her work. Her enthusiasm and commitment are non-stop, and she is a very real person.

As the women at our table talked, their stories came out. One woman's son is in Iraq now, one's son is in boot camp, and some sons have had deployments to Iraq and/or Afghanistan. The toll that this war takes on mothers was very evident. When one woman whose son has not been deployed asked how people cope when their son is deployed, the answer was "You get involved." I have seen this to be true in my friend, Gaye, whose son just got back from Afghanistan.

I think that this is good medicine for all of us. When we get involved, we get some control over our lives. We get our power back. There is SOMETHING that we can do, instead of hopelessly sitting around watching. We will sit in depression if we sit as victims of what is going on in this world, but when we follow our hearts and passion in work to make a difference, we have a new joy and happiness.

But I digress...

More than one mother at the table said that they had taught their sons to be a peace activist. What is it that causes a son to love guns and military stuff???

A couple of mothers said that the turning point for them - when they KNEW that they could not support this W or his war - was when W said "Bring 'em on!" One woman said that she has never felt so hopeless and helpless in her life until that point. And that point is when the MFSO people created the "BRING THEM HOME NOW" campaign. Once again, not sitting down in despair, but standing up in power.

Every woman there said that, until they found MFSO, they didn't know another person in their community who had a son in the military. For some of them, they waited years to find another military family. What an isolated feeling that must be!

The Message

Anyone who has a family member or loved one in the military and is against this war can be a member of Military Families Speak Out. Nancy says "Anyone with a family member or loved one in the military feels this war differently than anyone else." Latest estimates are that there are seven or eight members of congress who have family members serving in the war at this time. If half or most of the members of congress had family members deployed, I wonder what the war would look like.

And that leads me to a suggestion for action that Nancy and other MFSO people are doing. BE A PAIN IN YOUR CONGRESSPERSON'S LIFE. Be consistent. Write them. Meet with them in their office. A LOT OF TIMES. Remind them that our soldiers and the people of Iraq are dying daily. Ask them to name the soldiers that they are willing to condemn to death today. We are averaging around two U.S. deaths a day over there. What names would your congressperson pick to be the next to die? By doing nothing and letting this war go on, they are choosing death for someone every day.

If you have a family member or loved one who is serving in this war and you think that we need to get out of Iraq, contact Military Families Speak Out at www.mfso.org. If you are in the Denver area and want to get in contact with the newly hatching Colorado chapter, contact me through this blog and I will get you in touch with these local women (it would be good to add some men to this group, too, don't you think?)