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Friday, August 18, 2006
Drew
Drew (No Blood for Oil 12) has given me permission to post a little article that he wrote about his time in jail. Thanks, Drew!
There are times when you have to obey a call which is the highest of all, i.e. the voice of conscience even though such obedience may cost many a bitter tear, and even more, separation from friends, from family, from the state to which you may belong, from all that you have held as dear as life itself. For this obedience is the law of our being. Mahatma Gandhi
From Drew:
I can reduce my recent jail time, even in best circumstances as hard. It is hard physically and emotionally. It was also weird. It was juggling objects of different sizes and density knowing there are unknown repercussions if you drop one. Balance was the hardest struggle. I also had to spend an amazing amount of energy guarding and filtering my responses to an environment of total control. Such an environment creates an incredible amount of tension as the other inmates are doing the same. I saw only one physical attack but there was a lot of macho posturing. I never felt in any danger from other inmates and in fact received surprising acknowledgement for what I did and my commitment to fasting. I did feel at constant risk from the Deputy guards, whom for the most part, took way too much enjoyment in their power. Improvisation was the touchstone.
Ironically, although fasting did take its toll physically, emotionally it was an asset. Physically, and much to my surprise, I did not experience the expected hunger pangs. My dropping blood pressure did result in increasing light-headedness, being cold, decreasing lack of focus and toward the end even some visual hallucinations. From an emotional stand point it was, for me, special. First of all it gave me momentary control 3 times a day in that place. Three times a day I could say "no" to them without them being able to punish me. This became more important each day. It also allowed me to go deeper within myself. I embraced this as unintended meditation.
It is important for those choosing incarceration that it will strain bonds of family and friends. Jail has such a negative connotation in our society that not only will you not get support from some after stating your intentions, upon your release, there will be open hostility from those we did not expect it from. As this is so recent, I do not know how long certain estrangements will last, but I know they will be permanent to various degrees.
My brief incarceration created parallel paths of negative and positive energy. I don't have a single regret for choosing jail. I will do so again. I know that primal doubts and fears I had have been forever erased. It has changed me. How, is still unfolding.
.
There are times when you have to obey a call which is the highest of all, i.e. the voice of conscience even though such obedience may cost many a bitter tear, and even more, separation from friends, from family, from the state to which you may belong, from all that you have held as dear as life itself. For this obedience is the law of our being. Mahatma Gandhi
From Drew:
I can reduce my recent jail time, even in best circumstances as hard. It is hard physically and emotionally. It was also weird. It was juggling objects of different sizes and density knowing there are unknown repercussions if you drop one. Balance was the hardest struggle. I also had to spend an amazing amount of energy guarding and filtering my responses to an environment of total control. Such an environment creates an incredible amount of tension as the other inmates are doing the same. I saw only one physical attack but there was a lot of macho posturing. I never felt in any danger from other inmates and in fact received surprising acknowledgement for what I did and my commitment to fasting. I did feel at constant risk from the Deputy guards, whom for the most part, took way too much enjoyment in their power. Improvisation was the touchstone.
Ironically, although fasting did take its toll physically, emotionally it was an asset. Physically, and much to my surprise, I did not experience the expected hunger pangs. My dropping blood pressure did result in increasing light-headedness, being cold, decreasing lack of focus and toward the end even some visual hallucinations. From an emotional stand point it was, for me, special. First of all it gave me momentary control 3 times a day in that place. Three times a day I could say "no" to them without them being able to punish me. This became more important each day. It also allowed me to go deeper within myself. I embraced this as unintended meditation.
It is important for those choosing incarceration that it will strain bonds of family and friends. Jail has such a negative connotation in our society that not only will you not get support from some after stating your intentions, upon your release, there will be open hostility from those we did not expect it from. As this is so recent, I do not know how long certain estrangements will last, but I know they will be permanent to various degrees.
My brief incarceration created parallel paths of negative and positive energy. I don't have a single regret for choosing jail. I will do so again. I know that primal doubts and fears I had have been forever erased. It has changed me. How, is still unfolding.
.
posted by Carol at 6:11 PM
2 Comments:
way Earlier today I submitted a comment.It has yet to appear
Respectfully,
nogo postal
All comments come through me so that I can choose whether to publish them or not. This is the first one that I received today. Either your previous comment is floating through the ethers or lost. Feel free to re-send.
Apologies...
Carol
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