Contact Me
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Off to First Grade
I don't want to sound like someone who has just found religion, but I am really happy with the changes in my life that have come through adding NonViolent Communication teachings to my spiritual practice. Throughout my life, I have carried some ways of thinking that have not served me - or others - well. In fact, these ways of thinking have caused me pain and have distanced me from the very closeness to others that I have wanted.
Some examples (ah, I am making myself so vulnerable here): I never used to know what I needed or wanted from someone. If I could grasp a tiny glimpse of what it was that I might be needing, it was too painful to ask for it. I was not deserving. And, if I had to ask you for it.... well, if I had to ask, then I didn't want it anyway, because you should've known that I needed this and done it without me having to ask. I also didn't know how to express my anger, so I held it in until it eventually came out all messy.
I didn't know that we could talk and figure out a way where WE COULD ALL GET OUR NEEDS MET! I didn't know how good it feels when we all get our needs met. I thought that I had to get mine met at your expense - or not get mine so that you would get what you needed at my expense.
I have not been a person with very good skills in the world, and I am now vulnerably admitting that and it feels..... really good. Maybe I'm growing up a little? Oh, finally! How ever long it takes....
I thought that NVC was just a formula for speaking in a clearer way. I didn't know that it would change the way that I see the world and myself. So many times, it seems that growing and changing can be kind of hard and painful. Like going to therapy and wailing, while processing our painful pasts (I'm not knocking the value that can sometimes come of that). This NVC journey, so far, has been relatively painless and the rewards come quickly. I don't have to be perfect at it to still feel good about the effect.
Tonight I begin the NVC workshop. I am excited, because I think that I will learn a lot. And I also am feeling a little anxious, like the first day of school, because I don't know anyone else who will be there and I don't think that I know what to expect there (even though I've done this before, and I do have a really good idea of what to expect - and I'm pretty sure that it's perfectly safe there).
Yippppeeee! An adventure!
Some examples (ah, I am making myself so vulnerable here): I never used to know what I needed or wanted from someone. If I could grasp a tiny glimpse of what it was that I might be needing, it was too painful to ask for it. I was not deserving. And, if I had to ask you for it.... well, if I had to ask, then I didn't want it anyway, because you should've known that I needed this and done it without me having to ask. I also didn't know how to express my anger, so I held it in until it eventually came out all messy.
I didn't know that we could talk and figure out a way where WE COULD ALL GET OUR NEEDS MET! I didn't know how good it feels when we all get our needs met. I thought that I had to get mine met at your expense - or not get mine so that you would get what you needed at my expense.
I have not been a person with very good skills in the world, and I am now vulnerably admitting that and it feels..... really good. Maybe I'm growing up a little? Oh, finally! How ever long it takes....
I thought that NVC was just a formula for speaking in a clearer way. I didn't know that it would change the way that I see the world and myself. So many times, it seems that growing and changing can be kind of hard and painful. Like going to therapy and wailing, while processing our painful pasts (I'm not knocking the value that can sometimes come of that). This NVC journey, so far, has been relatively painless and the rewards come quickly. I don't have to be perfect at it to still feel good about the effect.
Tonight I begin the NVC workshop. I am excited, because I think that I will learn a lot. And I also am feeling a little anxious, like the first day of school, because I don't know anyone else who will be there and I don't think that I know what to expect there (even though I've done this before, and I do have a really good idea of what to expect - and I'm pretty sure that it's perfectly safe there).
Yippppeeee! An adventure!
.
posted by Carol at 12:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home