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Sunday, October 15, 2006
Indulgence
Word for the day: STUCK
I feel stuck
like a tongue on a pole on a cold winter day
like a tick sucking blood from a mangy mongrel
like a toe in the bathtub faucet
like a sword in a stone
like the ring on the finger of a man who's been married for fifty years and gained two pounds for every one of those years
We walked in the sunshine while dried leaves on the path in front of me reflected light so bright I could barely keep my eyes open and water splashed in the creek next to us and the Buddha dog excitedly read the news of every animal that had passed in the last five days. I normally breathe in life in such surroundings and come out renewed but I only felt the death of summer and all of the pain of this life even while walking among the evidences that life is resilient and all is well in my world.
I don't know why. I see the signs of beauty and love around me every day but some days the mind must enjoy swimming in frustration and hopelessness and anger and fear and death. Enjoy?
So I will wallow in this slime till I'm done
I will swallow this acidic potion of thoughts
I will follow this path till I'm sick of it
Then, tomorrow, I will tell you about the fun time we had at our Women in Black vigil yesterday - with thirteen ALIVE teens. :-)
I feel stuck
like a tongue on a pole on a cold winter day
like a tick sucking blood from a mangy mongrel
like a toe in the bathtub faucet
like a sword in a stone
like the ring on the finger of a man who's been married for fifty years and gained two pounds for every one of those years
We walked in the sunshine while dried leaves on the path in front of me reflected light so bright I could barely keep my eyes open and water splashed in the creek next to us and the Buddha dog excitedly read the news of every animal that had passed in the last five days. I normally breathe in life in such surroundings and come out renewed but I only felt the death of summer and all of the pain of this life even while walking among the evidences that life is resilient and all is well in my world.
I don't know why. I see the signs of beauty and love around me every day but some days the mind must enjoy swimming in frustration and hopelessness and anger and fear and death. Enjoy?
So I will wallow in this slime till I'm done
I will swallow this acidic potion of thoughts
I will follow this path till I'm sick of it
Then, tomorrow, I will tell you about the fun time we had at our Women in Black vigil yesterday - with thirteen ALIVE teens. :-)
.
posted by Carol at 4:37 PM
2 Comments:
I do not "get over it" or stuff my feelings to maintain the comfort of the loved ones in my space. Having grown to the time of my elder years I "enjoy" the experience of the full range of feelings and when I feel sad or bad or angry or demonic I wallow there and I swallow the boiling acid and I too follow the path to its destination. No pharmaceuticals or street drugs will rob me of my human experience or dull my pain until I am done. Things do change and experiences change and as noted before there is a full rich range of human experience. The darkness yields to peace and to the center and to joy and smiles once again. Thank you Carol for sharing your life and thoughts with me.
What an interesting journey, eh?
Thank YOU for reading about my life and for sharing yours with me. Helps to make it all worthwhile...
xoxo
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