Exploring Ways To Make Peace Within
Ourselves & the World

Women In Black Denver, Colorado

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Why Do I Write This Blog???

The easiest (and probably the most honest) answer to that question is: I don't know. It all started in the summer of 2005, when I went to Crawford, Texas ( a.k.a. the home of the prez's ranch, a.k.a. the home of Camp Casey) to support Cindy Sheehan. I wanted the world to know that, contrary to what one could read in the mainstream media, the peace movement was alive and well and large numbers of Americans did not support the war in Iraq. I wanted people to know that thousands of Americans were willing to travel to Texas and tolerate the heat, humidity, and bugs in order to support a grieving mother whose new purpose was to shine a light on the lies that led to the war and to bring home our troops so that no other mother would have to know the pain that she felt.

Over time, this blog has become more of an exploration of who I am, my spirituality, and how life works. I love life's complexities, exploring the shades of gray. I want to, as Rainier Maria Rilke said,

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

Maybe my blog is just one big question about what is needed in order for people to take the time to love and cherish each other and our earth. Maybe someday, I will "live along some distant day into the answer."

In the meantime, thank you for joining me on my journey. I welcome you to share yours with me

 

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Altered States

So I'm fasting again today.

In some moments, I am caught up in what I'm doing and everything feels fine. Then I suddenly feel PISSY. Then I crave CHOCOLATE (I saw some at a meeting I was at this a.m.). Then I feel really mad about the fact that some people can just send people they don't know to kill other people they don't know. And throughout the whole thing, I feel really spacey.

Winter fasting is cold. Hot water is appreciated.

When I was in massage school, a teacher suggested that we might try giving a practice session while in an altered state - maybe when we are sleep deprived. I took that suggestion to heart and gave a session after drinking a little too much wine. It was... well, probably not my best session. But I put my practice buddy to sleep and I had fun wwwooorrrkkkinnggg iiinnn rrreeaaalll ssssllllloooowwww mmmoootttiioonnn. Like, wow, man...

Don't know if I learned anything from that experience.

Today I am learning how much I am tempted to not take responsibility for my choices. And I would like to eat chocolate and forget about this fasting stuff. And I can be a big grouch on the inside (but, being the GOOD GIRL that I am, I try not to show it).

But I am also seeing my strengths - the gifts that I have that contribute to life on this planet. I'm feeling so much appreciation for the people who are in my life and the people who have lightly touched me as they passed by.





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posted by Carol at 2:01 PM

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