Mark Wilkerson has been AWOL since January of 2005 when his unit was to be deployed to Iraq for a second time. He is now turning himself in at Ft. Hood. He joins many other members of the military, like Ehren Watada, and Katherine Jashinski, in standing against this war. My deepest respect and gratitude to these people who face harsh punishment by taking a stand against the U.S. occupation of Iraq. I hope that you'll visit his site. If you are so moved, I hope that you will support Mark and all members of the military in whatever way you can.

Some quotes from Mark Wilkerson:

"And I say this to every member of our Congress and our senate, and even our president: Don't leave any soldier behind. Give them the help and support they need, because you sent them there."

"I am turning myself in as a war resistor, a person who not only disagrees with the current administrations policies, but war in general. I am nervous, I am scared, but I am going in with my head held high, knowing that what I did was right. Sometimes doing the right thing is not a popular decision in the eyes of others. Sometimes you just need to do what you need to do to the right thing."

"I joined the military with honorable intentions, and I still feel honor in my heart. I love my country; I want no one to doubt that. I am unsure of what actions and punishments will be placed on me for my decision. I am scared, but I go with peace in my heart and hope for the future- not only my future, but the country's future as well. This is a difficult and scary time for our country, but hopefully in the end, peace will rule this great land. John F. Kennedy once said that war will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today. I look forward to that day. There comes a time in a person's life when they must do the right moral decision for themselves, doubtless of how popular that decision is in other's eyes, or what others feel about it. While I would not consider myself a very religious man, I do believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. I would like to share two passages from the bible. The first - from Psalms Chapter 33, verse 5: Seek peace, and pursue it. The second from Matthew chapter 5, verse 9 - Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. I believe that through my actions, I am doing my best to live by the values stated in those quotes. Thank You"

Labels: Iraq War, Mark Wilkerson, Peacemaker

Yesterday while we stood as Women in Black, three bikers stopped at the back of the line of cars waiting at the red light. They started angrily yelling at us about how people have to die in order for us to have the right to stand like we do.

At the front of the line of cars, a young male - maybe 10 years old - sat as a passenger in an SUV. He was observing us until the noise from the bikers gave him permission to start yelling at us also.

And I wonder... if I were to sit in my car at a red light and gently yell out "Life is precious. Treat others with loving kindness." would my voice give others permission to speak out about kindness and respect?

Here are some blogs and sites that I have been visiting:

Blog: Lebanon Israeli Crisis Written by a man in Lebanon

Get daily news at Attytood

JewishConscience video of SF die-in (thanks, Khadija!)

For a little beauty to soothe the soul, Flikr Photos from lucky/e. Eric happens to have been a high school classmate of mine about a hundred years ago, but yes, I still remember him. He is a really good photographer. (Almost as good as my cousin. Family before ex-classmates!)

Sixteen-year-old Ava Lowery has a new video (PeaceTakesCourage.com) about Hurricane Katrina, out now as the one-year anniversary of the flooding of New Orleans and areas of Mississippi approaches. It brings back emotional memories about the storm and breeching of the levees that caused almost 1500 people to perish in Louisiana alone.

We have killed hundreds of thousands of people in retribution for the 3000 deaths on 9-11. We have yet to hold anyone accountable for the flooding that caused half that many deaths in New Orleans.

My realization the other night was a result of reading the following writing of Fyodor Dostoyevsky:

Love all Creation
The whole of it and every grain of sand
Love every leaf
Every ray of God's light
Love the animals
Love the plants
Love everything
If you love everything
You will perceive
The divine mystery in things
And once you have perceived it
You will begin to comprehend it ceaselessly
More and more everyday
And you will at last come to love the whole world
With an abiding universal love

For some reason, this time I got it. I can love everything. In fact, it is freedom to love everything. I'm not talking about emotional love. I am talking, er writing, about being love, keeping the clouds from in front of the heart, shining love on every situation. Not having to like something or someone, but allowing an open-ness of heart to be at all times.

I realized that we choose to dislike, hate, and resist. So, we can choose to remain open and loving. NOTHING that I have hated or resisted has changed into something more lovable by my hatred or resistance. I can't think of a single thing that got better because I hated it.

But I know that the least lovable little kids need love the most. It is easy to love some people, so they get love all of the time. But to treat a not-so-nice person with love is like watering parched earth.

I realized that it takes a lot of energy to resist and close off. But to keep the heart clear of blocks, well, that is our natural state. It is easy. It's a choice.

And I woke up this morning with a lot of dread. I felt really sad about what we found out about my friend's health yesterday. I have never been with a friend when they found out that they were considered "terminal" (possibly a sooner terminal than most of the rest of us). Opening the path to my heart, the sadness washed through, and I cried.

What better place to begin my practice of loving all than right here in a new and scary place?

My friend's cancer is back. It is pancreatic cancer. The average life expectancy after diagnosis of pancreatic cancer is 3 to 6 months. My friend has lived almost two years since her diagnosis and first surgery. After that first operation, the surgeon was happy and optimistic. He was not that way today. He said the news is not good. My friend is 55, which is very young for pancreatic cancer.

She came out of the surgery a little drowsy, but with her usual smile and happiness. A CNA made a comment about the fact that J was smiling after such a surgery. And J responded that she smiles because she is here.

She smiles because she is here. That's reason enough.


Friend, you lie quiet,
watching the dawn light color your heart,
dreaming of healing for your hurt body
laying there unanswerable to your will.
You breathe deep and your breath has two sides:
inside and outside. You are on both, being breathed.
The future approaches. You will heal or
you will go back to being God.
Which will you do?

Oh by all that is beautiful -
May it be that you live!
May your body heal happy and whole!
May energy fill and delight you!
May we join the dance your presence gives!
May you live!

And if you die?
Oh dear self, by all that is beautiful,
Know you are Safe! Everything is All Right
Forever and Ever and Ever!
The most wonderful, exquisite, familiar
Truth is what is True, and welcomes you.
It will be very easy.

You lie quiet now, praying.
A great healing is coming
and you want to be ready.
The colors of your heart blend
with the light of the morning.
You are blessed.
- Elias Amidon, Life Prayers

Today I am going to have minor surgery on my toes, then go to the hospital where my friend will be having surgery. I have been in a kind of funk the last few days, trying to figure out life, but I had an epiphany last night that has really helped. I will share more about that later, because I have to get ready to go.

Here is a song/slideshow about Veterans for Peace, thanks to Amy: VFP by Tom Chelston
My sincere gratitude to all the members of Veterans for Peace and Iraq Veterans Against the War. Your voices are priceless.

And a Kris Kristofferson song and video, In the News

The stone gives way to the river passing by, losing its sharp edges. The rose is only a rose for a few days before it drops its petals to enrich the earth.

I am touched as I witness the processes of members of the No Blood for Oil 12. The news only reports a view of an action. There is much more going on behind the scenes.

Ellen just submitted the letter below to the Boulder Weekly. Many Americans appear to like a neat tied-up package. I am thankful for the open ending and intrigued by the mystery of how the NBFO12 experience will affect change. When one person changes, we all change.

Ellen's Letter:

The path of resistnce, once embarked upon, can take you to unexpected places- in my case, 10 days of fasting and jail for blocking the entrance to a recruitment station with 12 others in Lakewood. A Jefferson County jury found us guilty and your paper reported that some of us "opted for jail time". "Opted". That's not a word I would have chosen. "Called upon" seems more accurate. Called upon to protest the devastation ongoing in Irag. Called upon to show that not all Americans condone what is taking place in our name. Sometimes it seems that when our governments policies are so odious, so destructive of life, so much a betrayal of everything you believe in, that jailed in opposition seems the best place to be.
The war is far away. It is all to easy to deny it's existence as we go about our lives. We do not have bombs raining down on our homes or explosive devices planted in our streets. Our children are not dying for lack of clean water, food or medicine. Our morgues are not overflowing. The actions 12 of us took in blocking the recruitment station, in bringing the case to a jury, in going to jail and fasting reflect an invitation. If ordinary people such as ourselves can resist in such a way, anyone can. But it's a strange thing- you think that you are resisting to bring about an end to the war, maybe to be an inspiration to others, but you discover, as one of my activist brothers said, that is is for yourself and that you are changed in ways that are still unfolding.

How can someone justify a position that is against abortion, for war, against stem cell research and for the death penalty?

Next month, September 13-15, I will be taking Marshall Rosenberg's NonViolent Communication class that he is offering at Naropa in Boulder. I'm inviting all who are interested in learning skills that will create a different world to join me in this class. It's not free, but neither is freedom! hah! I just had to pull a W where I could. Really though, bombs take away many freedoms, and the skills of compassionate communication and empathic listening do bring us much freedom.

The class is Sept 13-15, Wed. 7–9 p.m., Thurs, Fri. 9 a.m.–5 p.m.
Non-credit: $325, $260 by September 9
You can sign up on Naropa's site

A Little About NVC and Marshall:

Most of us are hungry for skills that can improve the quality of our relationships, deepen our sense of personal empowerment, or simply help us communicate more effectively. Unfortunately, many of us have been educated from birth to compete, judge, demand and diagnose; to think and communicate in terms of what is "right" and "wrong" with people. At best, the habitual ways we think and speak hinder communication and create misunderstanding or frustration. And still worse, they can cause anger and pain, and may lead to violence. Without wanting to, even people with the best of intentions generate needless conflict. By examining the unmet needs behind what we do or say, Non-Violent Communication (NVC) helps reduce hostility, heal pain, and strengthen professional and personal relationships. It affects cultural shifts as institutions, corporations and governments integrate NVC consciousness into their organizational structures and their approach to leadership.

NVC helps us reach beneath the surface and discover what is alive and vital within us, and how all of our actions are based on human needs that we are seeking to meet. We learn to develop a vocabulary of feelings and needs that helps us more clearly express what is going on in us at any given moment. When we understand and acknowledge our needs, we develop a shared foundation for much more satisfying relationships.

Marshall B. Rosenberg , Ph.D. is the founder and director of educational services for the Center for Nonviolent Communication, an international peacemaking and training organization. He is the author of Speak Peace in a World of Conflict, and the bestselling Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Dr. Rosenberg is the 2006 recipient of the Global Village Foundation's Bridge of Peace Award, and the Association of Unity Churches International 2006 Light of God Expressing Award. He is also the recipient
of the 2004 International Peace Prayer Day Man of Peace Award and the 2004 Religious Science International Golden Works Award.

In January of this year, 2006, I, Kerry Appel, director of Cafe Rebelion, bought 41.38 acres in Southern Colorado after a long search for a place to develop a model that would demonstrate that it is possible for individuals or groups to resist the racism, the militarism, the exploitive capitalism, the materialism, the environmental destruction, and the corruption of the dominant political, economic, and social model as exercised by the US government, the transnational corporations, and the mainstream society in the US (especially in this current time under the criminal government of George W. Bush).

I planned on doing this on my land by having a fair trade, social justice oriented economy (which I have already developed with Cafe Rebelion), making my own fuel without the use of petroleum and the war and environmental crimes associated with it (I've already been making my own fuel from vegetable oil since Bush invaded Iraq), building an off-the-grid barn and house that are heated and powered by solar electricity and wind power, growing most of my own food, and having some animals for eggs, milk, cheese, and yoghurt and perhaps most important, by refusing to participate in the current capitalist, militaristic and racist policies and practices of the US mainstream. Many people that I talk to say that they disagree with the wars and the corporate policies of the US but feel that they are forced to participate because "there is no other option".

Well, I say that there are other options, that they are not that difficult, and that I intend to use my time, efforts, and resources to demonstrate that "Another World is Possible". Three months after I bought that land and started my project by fencing it to keep the cows out (but let the deer and the antelope in) so that the natural grasses could grow back, I found out that the US Army already had plans to invade my land and to take it from me (and from thousands of other citizens).

The US Army is planning on taking from 500,000 to 1,000,000 acres from thousands of landowners in Southeastern Colorado in order to expand the Pinon Canyon Maneuver Site (PCMS) into the largest military training site in the United States. The army claims that this is necessary to train more soldiers to fight in Iraq and in future "robotic" style warfare, to be able to strike, from long distance, "at anyone, in any country, at any time".

The current plans of the army are to try to find willing sellers for these hundreds of thousands of acres or, that failing, to seize the land by force, that is, through the condemnation and seizure of the land. The army will not answer questions from private citizens or from elected reprentatives about the reasons for the expansion plans, the timeframe of the seizure of the lands, the economic impact to the local communities involved, the alternatives to the expansion, the environmental impact of the military exercises, the compensation to the landowners, the lost tax revenues for the counties involved, or any other information.

But these plans, which originate at the Ft. Carson military base in Colorado Springs, Colorado, are not approved or funded yet. I intend to oppose and to resist any plans to expand the army or the training of our children to conduct wars and I hope to go ahead with construction of my autonomous territory which I have named "La Dignidad".

It is my position that more military training equals more illegal wars which equals untold thousands more innocent civilians killed and more of our own sons and daughters brought home in body bags. Before another dime is spent on the military Bush and his regime should be brought up on war crimes charges and held accountable for their crimes and reparations made for all of the innocent civilians that they have killed.

So far the only group that is organized to oppose the Pinon Canon Maneuver Site Expansion is the Pinon Canyon Expansion Opposition Coalition which is primarily made up of several hundred conservative farmers, ranchers, and landowners whose lands are threatened by the army's plans and the only elected officials that are publicly opposed to the expanion of PCMS are some very conservative politicians such as Marilyn Musgrave and Wayne Allard (and a few others). As far as I know there are no liberal groups or politicians or anti-war or peace activists that are active in opposing the military's plans for expansion.

The website of the opposition group is http://www.pinoncanyon.com . There is a lot of information available there that I am not going to try to reproduce on this page. My suggestion would be that interested persons go to that site, learn more about the situation, and either participate with that group to oppose the army's plans or start your own opposition efforts or opposition group.

Kerry Appel - "La Dignidad" is Not For Sale to the Army!
Cafe Rebelion
August 2006

P.S. The person designated by Ft. Carson Military Base to be in charge of public relations/media/answering questions/etc. is;

Karen Edge
Ft. Carson
719-526-5160

Perhaps you could give her a call to express your feelings or ask questions about the proposed expansion of Pinon Canyon Maneuver Site.

Drew (No Blood for Oil 12) has given me permission to post a little article that he wrote about his time in jail. Thanks, Drew!

There are times when you have to obey a call which is the highest of all, i.e. the voice of conscience even though such obedience may cost many a bitter tear, and even more, separation from friends, from family, from the state to which you may belong, from all that you have held as dear as life itself. For this obedience is the law of our being. Mahatma Gandhi

From Drew:

I can reduce my recent jail time, even in best circumstances as hard. It is hard physically and emotionally. It was also weird. It was juggling objects of different sizes and density knowing there are unknown repercussions if you drop one. Balance was the hardest struggle. I also had to spend an amazing amount of energy guarding and filtering my responses to an environment of total control. Such an environment creates an incredible amount of tension as the other inmates are doing the same. I saw only one physical attack but there was a lot of macho posturing. I never felt in any danger from other inmates and in fact received surprising acknowledgement for what I did and my commitment to fasting. I did feel at constant risk from the Deputy guards, whom for the most part, took way too much enjoyment in their power. Improvisation was the touchstone.

Ironically, although fasting did take its toll physically, emotionally it was an asset. Physically, and much to my surprise, I did not experience the expected hunger pangs. My dropping blood pressure did result in increasing light-headedness, being cold, decreasing lack of focus and toward the end even some visual hallucinations. From an emotional stand point it was, for me, special. First of all it gave me momentary control 3 times a day in that place. Three times a day I could say "no" to them without them being able to punish me. This became more important each day. It also allowed me to go deeper within myself. I embraced this as unintended meditation.

It is important for those choosing incarceration that it will strain bonds of family and friends. Jail has such a negative connotation in our society that not only will you not get support from some after stating your intentions, upon your release, there will be open hostility from those we did not expect it from. As this is so recent, I do not know how long certain estrangements will last, but I know they will be permanent to various degrees.

My brief incarceration created parallel paths of negative and positive energy. I don't have a single regret for choosing jail. I will do so again. I know that primal doubts and fears I had have been forever erased. It has changed me. How, is still unfolding.

.

And you know what that means...

There is still a war in Iraq, W still thinks he's our prez, and it appears that the most important news that is happening, at least in Colorado, has to do with JonBenet. Again.

But really, Thursdays mean...

Thursdays with TJ! Today, we did the first ten minutes of our walk in silence. I can't give you a scientific explanation of what happens when two people walk in intentional silence, but I find the experience to be quite profound. If you haven't done it, you'll have to try it in order to know what I mean.

TJ and I do our NVC walks in a nearby park - an oasis with a small lake. I like a lot of things about this park, but I especially like its natural setting. No grassy lawn. Today we saw a big, beautiful fox, a woman walking around the lake with a green parrot on her shoulder, and a marching band tooting and drumming as they strutted around the lake. Ah, life is so entertaining.

Today, as TJ and I practiced NVC, I experienced the power and beauty of this type of relating. To be present in this way is a gift to the giver and the receiver. Wait a minute. I'm not sure if there is a giver and a receiver. We are all both at the same time.

Another Thursday happening:

DeeAnn, the last of the NBFO12 got out of jail a few minutes after midnight this a.m. From what I've observed, a ten-day sentence means whatever the heck the system decides it should mean in the moment.

Here's how the TEN-DAY jail time worked out for everyone:

Drew got to spend his sentence in the Work Release program, even though he doesn't have a job. For him, that meant three days in lock-down and five days in Work Release where he never went to work. His final day lasted only until a few minutes past midnight, but, being on Work Release, he got to pay for the whole day.

Carolyn and Ellen were never offered Work Release and went in on a Wednesday a.m. (day one) and got out on a Saturday a.m. (day eleven) a week and a half later. That is technically ten days (if you count by the hours), but if you counted the way they counted Drew's time, Carolyn and Ellen were there eleven days.

Bonnie, 75, refused to participate in the Work Release program that the deputy tried to cram down her throat. Since she doesn't have a job, they said she could do Work Release while looking for a job. Bonnie said that she didn't go to jail to get a job. She went in on day one and got out on the morning of day ten.

DeeAnn, who just got out, was on Work Release. Counting the first and last days, she was in for eight days. Like Drew, she got out a little after midnight on her last day, but got to pay for the whole day. Unlike Drew or any of the others, she was only allowed visitors on the weekends.

Just think! Room and board for free or for a small charge, and you get all kinds of side benefits, like learning non-attachment and humility, and, as Drew puts it, you get to learn to find dignity within yourself while residing in a place that tries to strip you of all dignity.


"The police were so impressed by the simple dignity of this little man [Gandhi] that they seemed to be not his jailers but his prisoners. He was at this very best when being persecuted. He was at his strongest when under pressure. And he was free whether inside prison or out." - From Gandhi the Man by Eknath Easwaran

.

Thank you, Amy.


What Is A Gold Star Family?
By Amy Branham

It is sad that during a time of war, so many people do not know what a Gold Star Family is. They have no idea what a Gold Star Mother, Father, Husband, Wife, Sister or Brother is. So many times when I attend rallies, protests or other events, I have to explain what a Gold Star Mom is.

So, let me tell you. A Gold Star Family is a family who has lost a much loved one in a war. It could be World War II, Vietnam, Korea, Iraq, Afghanistan. The location doesn’t matter. What matters is that these families lost someone they loved, a much-valued member of their family, in a war.

To date, there are 2,601 American Gold Star Families from the war in Iraq alone. http://icasualties.org/oif/

It doesn’t matter today what our feelings about the war are. What matters is that all of us have buried someone we loved.

Our lives changed forever the day we learned of the death of our son or daughter, brother or sister, husband or wife. We go through the various stages of mourning which include: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and, eventually, acceptance. We are all at different stages in our process.

Staying up all night, walking the floors as we worry about whether or not the person we loved suffered or felt any pain before they died often becomes an obsession. For many, dreams at nighttime haunt us and keep us from sleep.

We start to mark the passage of time in a way that we never did before, in a way that some might find morbid but to us seems completely natural. This process begins soon after the funeral. We notice a week has gone by since the Death Day. We realize it’s been one week since the funeral. Then it’s one month, six months, a year. The time and date of our last contact with our loved one becomes a most remembered day. It may have been a visit home, a letter, email or phone call. Every little thing counts and that becomes part of our counting of the passage of time.

Somehow, we irrationally hope against all hope that the death and burial of our loved one was some kind of sick joke. We listen for their footsteps coming up to the door, look for their faces in the crowd at the stores. Jump when the telephone rings with the hope of hearing their voice on the other end. For those of us who did not see the body of our loved one, we wonder if we are going crazy. We never had the absolute verification of seeing their face one last time.

The birthdays of our loved ones are hard to get through, the holidays without them are excruciating. Slowly, with the passage of time marked in this way and not so much by the traditional names of months, we begin to accept the realization that our loved ones will not ever be coming home to us. For some this may take years.

In the meantime, there is a tremendous emotional and physical toll paid by these families. Some parents divorce, many people lose their jobs because they cannot focus or, because of depression, cannot get out of bed in the morning. Many of us constantly relive the last time we saw our loved one, the last touch, the last embrace, the last of whatever it was that was the last. We didn’t know it was the last although most of us knew it was a possibility. But we dismissed it in order to be strong for the person we loved that was being sent to a war zone.

Some family members self medicate with alcohol or other chemicals because they cannot deal with the emotional heartache and pain they feel. Others just drop out of life, some eventually finding their way back but some who never do.

All of us, whether we believed the war in Iraq is right or wrong, whether we support the President or not, experience these things in varying degrees.

This is a Gold Star Family. This is what we live with every single day.


Amy Branham
Mother of Sgt. Jeremy R. Smith
Nov. 1981 – Feb. 2004

Gold Star Mom

You can read updates from Camp Casey III, which is happening right now, at the Lone Star Iconoclast site.

.

Miki Kashtan, in her article, no enemies, no demands, demonstrates how, through NonViolent Communication, dialogue and understanding can be faciliated. In her article, we witness an NVC trainer speaking with a Jewish woman who lives in the West Bank.

A couple of excerpts from the article:

When we use force, blame and self-righteousness instead, even if we manage to create the outcome we want in the short run, we distance ourselves from those whose actions we want to change. Success in the short run does not lead to the transformation we so wish for, neither in ourselves nor in those we are trying to change. Sooner or later, those with more power will prevail, and we are left bitter and defeated. This cycle is a major cause of “burn-out” among activists.


We all pay a price in the long run when our needs are met at others’ expense. Accordingly, the goal of the dance of empathy is to establish enough connection and understanding so that everyone can unite in looking for strategies to meet everyone’s needs. When we transcend our own enemy images so that we really experience the humanness of the other, we can truly show people that we care about their needs. When that happens, they are then usually more open to consider ways of meeting their needs which are not at the expense of other human beings’ lives, the planet, and other values of theirs.

Miki will be offering NonViolent Communication trainings at Camp Democracy in D.C. Camp Democracy will be held from September 5 -21.

.

Below are articles and videos that inspired me, or woke me up, or made me laugh.


Integrity and Courage

To read Ehren Watada's inspiring talk at the recent Veterans for Peace National Convention, see Dahr Jamail's article on Truthout.org.


Effects of Our "Standards of Beauty"

A Girl Like Me, a short film made by 17 year-old Kiri Davis. She re-created the "doll test" where young girls are given a choice between a black doll and a white doll.


Fun

Skeleton Dance


Treadmill Dance

On Thursday mornings, TJ and I explore NonViolent Communication together. I took Marshall Rosenberg's workshop a few years ago, but I have not come close to mastering NVC. In fact, it is a rare and exceptional moment when I remember and am able to sink down into those useful skills that Marshall can so easily demonstrate.

Having TJ for a practice partner has helped me to realize that NVC is more than the skill of communicating in a prescribed way. NVC is helping me to understand myself and others better.

The vision of the Center for NonViolent Communication:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) is a global organization whose vision is a world where all people are getting their needs met and resolving their conflicts peacefully. In this vision, people are using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to create and participate in networks of worldwide life-serving systems in economics, education, justice, healthcare, and peace-keeping.

At the end of the hour that TJ and I spend exploring NVC, I feel encouraged, alive, and grateful because I know that I am learning skills that will help bring peace to my life and, hopefully, to others in my world.


“Dialogue is a conversation between adults the outcome of which is unknown.” Martin Buber

The sidewalk is hot
anger ricochets off the walls surrounding us
and the little brown girl
gives the peace sign

Bringing a moment of calm
in the jungle of Denver
while grown-ups fight for peace
she is peace



(Photo by Larry G. Blackwood. It's been awhile since I've posted a one of his photos - in case you're new here, he is my cousin who is an almost famous photographer. See more of his stuff at www.hawklinephotography.com)

I got more in touch with how my body handles fasting yesterday. I wasn't in the desert where there is no food or concept of time (like the vision quests that I have done the past two years), but instead, I was at home with blue corn chips and fresh baked peach cobbler calling my name. I have had only water for the last 37 hours. I am not interested in food yet, but I will eat before I go downtown for the rally and a meeting afterwards. I witnessed the habit that food is in my life. I always watch these sneaky little thoughts that try to trick me. We went to an office supply store last night and my mind wondered if they had some chocolate there. During the day, the mind tried to convince me that I should juice some of those delicious organic peaches that are in the fridge. That would still be fasting, right? But that wasn't the deal. And people in many other places in the world who are starving don't have the privilege of choosing to juice peaches when all that is available is water - if they're lucky enough to have water.

During my fast, I meditated and prayed and was lucky enough to be able to nap when I hit my afternoon blood sugar low. I sat and looked at my life and my priorities. It is good to take the time to do that. There are so many social events and activist events taking place. And I could volunteer more hours than there are in a day. The busy-ness wheel is a trap that takes us away from ourselves. We would be living very different lives if we knew ourselves and stayed within who we are.

Excerpt from a Thich Nhat Hanh prayer:

Beginning to Eat:
With the first taste, I promise to offer joy.
With the second, I promise to help relieve the suffering of others.
With the third, I promise to see others' joy as my own.
With the fourth, I promise to learn the way of non-attachment and equanimity.

Okay I lied. One more post today.


I got this off of Truthout.org. It was created by Shan Wells of the Durango Telegraph.



(I will be fasting tomorrow. In order to go deeper into myself, in addition to abstaining from food, I will also stay away from the computer.)

One last post for today. I couldn't resist sharing about "opportunity", thanks to Jon Stewart and OneGoodMove.org.

Betty, one of the No Blood for Oil 12, with her grandkids.


We were at the jail today, supporting DeeAnn, the last member of the group to start her jail sentence. The NBFO12 blocked the recruiting station to bring the awareness of what we are doing to innocent people in this occupation of Iraq.


I want these beautiful children to grow up and have healthy food, pure water, blue skies, clean air, love, joy, butterflies, open spaces, peace, and much more.


How could anyone, in any way, ever hurt something so precious?
Kids all over the world are depending on us.

I guess it depends on whose lives we're talking about, huh, Mr. Snow???


"We do believe the plot involved flights from the U.K. to the U.S. and was a direct threat to the United States," Snow said.

"You can't go overboard when you're trying to save lives," Snow added, speaking to reporters traveling with Bush on Air Force One en route to Wisconsin.

On June 15th, I fasted for 36 hours in honor of the 2500 U.S. soldiers and countless thousands of Iraqi people who had died as a result of our occupation of Iraq. I am planning on fasting for 36 hours tomorrow, August 11, as the number of U.S. soldiers killed over there will most likely reach 2600. In less than two months, 100 of our soldiers have died, I don't know how many have been injured, and at least 2000 Iraqis have died. All from a war with too many justifications and too little logic and humanity.

Usually, when we come upon a time where W needs to distract us from what's going on, something "happens" so that W can demonstrate our need to "stay the course". Today, he will speak about our heightened security needs at our airports due to the arrests of terrorists in London.

How conveeeeeeeenient!

Should I now feel a deep conviction that we need to keep killing so that all of the soldiers and Iraqis will have not died in vain?

This is the sign at the church down the street from me. I don't normally get much from these types of signs, but I find this one profound.

Last Sunday, a rally of support for Israel was held in Denver. Photos of the rally show many Israeli flags, plus signs with messages supporting Israel.

This coming weekend, there will be a rally and march defending the people of Palestine and Lebanon. There will most likely be Palestinian and Lebanese flags there.

And I wonder... what would happen if, at each of these events, there were NO flags, because we recognized that countries are only arbitrary fences dividing sisters and brothers. What if we only offered our open hearts?

The person who commented on my The Hard Places post is my son, Paul. He turns TWENTY-FIVE today.

Happy Birthday, Paul!

I want to be like Paul when I grow up. He is one of the kindest people I know. I really mean that. I think he was born without the ability to hate, judge or criticize. I was not born that way, so I get to learn it.

I love you and I'm proud of you, my wonderful son!

Protesters hope their commitment will inspire others

By Anna Uhls, Camera Staff Writer
August 6, 2006

Carolyn Bninski and Ellen Stark left the Jefferson County Jail after their 10-day sentences ended Saturday, walking slowly and silently into the arms of supporters.

The Boulder women, both members of the Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center, were among a dozen activists convicted in June of blocking the entrance to a Lakewood military recruiting center during a Nov. 18 anti-war demonstration. They and three others chose a jail sentence over community service.


They don't regret it, Bninski said.

"Being in jail is horrible, but in return of giving up an outer freedom, you gain an inner freedom from facing your fear," she said. "It was worth it because I want people to remember the war our government is involved in, in our name."

Stark fasted during the sentence, drinking only water. She was visibly fatigued and spoke in a whisper.

"It was really hard to be deprived of nature and the world, and the artificial light on at night was the worst, " she said. "I feel weak, but I kept a focus on the reason we were in there. If you are against the war, we all need to act on all these beliefs to stop it."

Anne Hockmeyer, one of about 10 supporters who waited outside the jail Saturday, said choosing jail made a strong statement and showed the women's level of commitment.

"Like what we learned in the Nuremberg trials, you are responsible yourself if you let crimes go," Hockmeyer said. "We are protesting against our government breaking the law."

Drew Edmondson, one of the three other convicted activists who chose jail time, was released Wednesday after doing work release. The Denver man said he was proud of his colleagues.

Louisville resident Bonnie McCormick, 75, will be released Monday, and DeAnn Major, of Denver, will serve her time in August.

Supporter Betty Goebel said she hopes the group inspires further action against the war in Iraq.

"There are lots of people against this war and not doing anything about it," she said. "I hope people see that if we are willing to go into jail to prove our point, they will also take action in some way and speak out to our government."

My Jewish friend/brother aches because of the killing on both sides, but he remains staunch in believing that Israel has a right to exist as a country.

A Muslim friend/brother prays for Hezbollah's victory.

I just pray that we will all learn to get along. What if everyone won? What if people put down their arms and worked together for the good of the whole?

When I mourned the deaths of the 30+ Lebanese children, my Jewish friend came back with the question of why I am not as sad for the Israeli dead. (The answer is that I am a mother, and it just happened to hit me particularly hard when I read about so many children killed. I am sad for all of the strife and pain. It is everywhere, every day.)

In the book, I Am That; Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, Maharaj says, "Killing hurts the killer, not the killed." Thinking on this, I think about the fact that we all die. People have died for centuries (as Ram Dass says, "Dying is completely safe."), so I wonder what is so special about being the one killed? Why do we mourn deaths so? We do miss the deceased, so maybe we only grieve for OUR loss. Yes, people deeply mourn the "early" death of a child, because that child didn't get to live a long, full life. But I look at this world and see that even though there is much beauty, it is also a very hard and cruel place. Many of our elders wonder why their tired bodies are still keeping them here. Is living a long life all that it is cracked up to be? To paraphrase Stephen Levine, what is wrong with being able to skip a few grades?

But going back to the quote, "Killing hurts the killer, not the killed.", I realize that the beings who have already passed from this earth are all okay. No matter what your belief system, those beings are gone from this life. But the killer left behind still carries the damage of the hate that caused their actions - a damage to their soul. The intention behind killing is a poison that permeates not only the killer, but also society. Poison causes the killing and killing leaves a toxic residue.

I truly believe that many individua