Contact Me
Thursday, February 08, 2007
I Don't Understand Men
My friend wrote to a local Vietnam vet, telling him that her Marine son just got a promotion. Her son is proud of his new stripe, but he hates the Marines. She wrote the vet that she doesn't understand men.
Part of the vet's response:
You say you don't understand men and I say you have good reason.
Men grow up with GI Joe, Navy Seals, countless war movies, countless television programs that glorify violence or the military and they want that glory. Just as they play football to gain glory and gain comradeship so too they go to war. Once in the military many of us discover there is no glory to be found but refuse to accept that. Surely all the trials and abuse should have some meaning. Surely the dying friends and civilians should have meaning. So we attach some macho bullshit meaning to things like making it through boot-camp or getting rank. Even though we hate the Marines (or whatever service) we grow close to those who suffer with us and feel we owe allegiance to them. Even if we hate it, we carry the fact of "making it" as some shield of honor.
I can go into any room and get instant credibility by telling a group I was a Marine combat infantryman in Vietnam. I go into the same room and just say I'm a peace activist and I'll not get the same respect. When I was jailed in the city of Denver they treated me and all those arrested with me with disdain and nastiness. We went through several holding cells before we finally ended up in the assigned cell. When we got to the holding cell where they inventoried our personal property the sheriff's noticed I had a Purple Heart insignia and Marine Corporal pins on my collar. The two sheriffs asked me if I was a Marine in Vietnam. When I told them I was, all the nasty stuff stopped. They talked to me like I was human and part of their group. I was... they were both ex-Marines. The sad part of this story is the two sheriffs and most of the jail staff were black. They were the ones dehumanizing the inmates. Like men in war, they had to become "hard" to even bear what they had to do each day.
Imagine the power of this fraternity turning away from the violence. Think if we could quit being the universal soldier and become the warrior of peace.
One story I will tell you. I had a tight group in Vietnam. Whenever one of the guys talked about re-upping and coming back to Vietnam, we swore we'd kill them before they ever made it back out into the bush. Just our way of expressing our love for the man and disgust for the war at the same time. I use this story to suggest to all the young troops who tell me they feel they owe a duty to their buddies still in combat that they should ask those buddies if they want them to rejoin them in hell. They should ask themselves if they'd want their friends back in harms way.
You're right to question us men. I hope you keep challenging the male culture we've created. Duty, honor, country doesn't come at the end of a rifle or the explosion of a bomb. There are true acts of heroism in any combat situation. And any combat infantryman can tell you a hero in the morning can become a coward by night from fatigue and trauma. Heroic acts are merely reactions to intense stress but we all have a breaking point.
Part of the vet's response:
You say you don't understand men and I say you have good reason.
Men grow up with GI Joe, Navy Seals, countless war movies, countless television programs that glorify violence or the military and they want that glory. Just as they play football to gain glory and gain comradeship so too they go to war. Once in the military many of us discover there is no glory to be found but refuse to accept that. Surely all the trials and abuse should have some meaning. Surely the dying friends and civilians should have meaning. So we attach some macho bullshit meaning to things like making it through boot-camp or getting rank. Even though we hate the Marines (or whatever service) we grow close to those who suffer with us and feel we owe allegiance to them. Even if we hate it, we carry the fact of "making it" as some shield of honor.
I can go into any room and get instant credibility by telling a group I was a Marine combat infantryman in Vietnam. I go into the same room and just say I'm a peace activist and I'll not get the same respect. When I was jailed in the city of Denver they treated me and all those arrested with me with disdain and nastiness. We went through several holding cells before we finally ended up in the assigned cell. When we got to the holding cell where they inventoried our personal property the sheriff's noticed I had a Purple Heart insignia and Marine Corporal pins on my collar. The two sheriffs asked me if I was a Marine in Vietnam. When I told them I was, all the nasty stuff stopped. They talked to me like I was human and part of their group. I was... they were both ex-Marines. The sad part of this story is the two sheriffs and most of the jail staff were black. They were the ones dehumanizing the inmates. Like men in war, they had to become "hard" to even bear what they had to do each day.
Imagine the power of this fraternity turning away from the violence. Think if we could quit being the universal soldier and become the warrior of peace.
One story I will tell you. I had a tight group in Vietnam. Whenever one of the guys talked about re-upping and coming back to Vietnam, we swore we'd kill them before they ever made it back out into the bush. Just our way of expressing our love for the man and disgust for the war at the same time. I use this story to suggest to all the young troops who tell me they feel they owe a duty to their buddies still in combat that they should ask those buddies if they want them to rejoin them in hell. They should ask themselves if they'd want their friends back in harms way.
You're right to question us men. I hope you keep challenging the male culture we've created. Duty, honor, country doesn't come at the end of a rifle or the explosion of a bomb. There are true acts of heroism in any combat situation. And any combat infantryman can tell you a hero in the morning can become a coward by night from fatigue and trauma. Heroic acts are merely reactions to intense stress but we all have a breaking point.
posted by Carol at 11:50 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home