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Monday, July 14, 2008
Losing and Finding Freedom
I can't believe that she gave my book away.
I don't buy too many books anymore, but instead frequent the library down the street. If they don't have a book, CD, or DVD there, another library in Colorado will deliver it to the one near me, so there are very few limits to what I have access to. Still, I couldn't get Jarvis Jay Masters' Finding Freedom through the system, so I ended up buying it. I was glad to buy it, because Masters is a wonderful man and I'm happy to support him.
I previously wrote a post about Masters' book Finding Freedom. You can read it by clicking here. But this post isn't about the writer or the book. This is about what I learned when one of my best friends gave my prized book away.
When I bought the book, I read it like I read many books that I enjoy. I inhaled it. I dived into it and didn't come up for air until I closed the back cover. Once done, my plan was - as it is with many other books that I have loved - to go back to it and to slowly let the words and concepts sink into me. To savor it and let it infuse my soul.
BUT before the second phase of reading happened for this particular book, my good friend from out of state visited. She was passing through on her way to a retreat. I lent her the book with the understanding that she would send it back to me when she got home. But she didn't. On her retreat, she loaned it to a mutual friend - one that doesn't live near me and that I don't often see. It's been months since this happened and I still have not heard about Finding Freedom.
When I heard about the fate of the book, I first felt disappointment. Over time, I worked with letting go. Yesterday, I realized that if I would have taken my time the first time I read it, if I would've savored each moment instead of dancing on top of the words, I would've been fully done with the book as the last page was turned and its loss wouldn't have mattered so much.
Then I wondered... is this how I go through life? Quickly and on the surface, counting on the opportunity to come back and let the experience go deeper later? In a land of no guarantees of a "later", this isn't a wise philosophy.
After all of the studying that I've done about slowing down and staying present to the moment, am I still surfing the channels of life and thinking that I'll have another chance to stop and smell the roses or wildflowers or dog shit?
Funny thing is that the essays in Master's book are supreme examples of his ability to stay present to the moment even while sitting on death row.
And I had to lose the book in order to get it.
I don't buy too many books anymore, but instead frequent the library down the street. If they don't have a book, CD, or DVD there, another library in Colorado will deliver it to the one near me, so there are very few limits to what I have access to. Still, I couldn't get Jarvis Jay Masters' Finding Freedom through the system, so I ended up buying it. I was glad to buy it, because Masters is a wonderful man and I'm happy to support him.
I previously wrote a post about Masters' book Finding Freedom. You can read it by clicking here. But this post isn't about the writer or the book. This is about what I learned when one of my best friends gave my prized book away.
When I bought the book, I read it like I read many books that I enjoy. I inhaled it. I dived into it and didn't come up for air until I closed the back cover. Once done, my plan was - as it is with many other books that I have loved - to go back to it and to slowly let the words and concepts sink into me. To savor it and let it infuse my soul.
BUT before the second phase of reading happened for this particular book, my good friend from out of state visited. She was passing through on her way to a retreat. I lent her the book with the understanding that she would send it back to me when she got home. But she didn't. On her retreat, she loaned it to a mutual friend - one that doesn't live near me and that I don't often see. It's been months since this happened and I still have not heard about Finding Freedom.
When I heard about the fate of the book, I first felt disappointment. Over time, I worked with letting go. Yesterday, I realized that if I would have taken my time the first time I read it, if I would've savored each moment instead of dancing on top of the words, I would've been fully done with the book as the last page was turned and its loss wouldn't have mattered so much.
Then I wondered... is this how I go through life? Quickly and on the surface, counting on the opportunity to come back and let the experience go deeper later? In a land of no guarantees of a "later", this isn't a wise philosophy.
After all of the studying that I've done about slowing down and staying present to the moment, am I still surfing the channels of life and thinking that I'll have another chance to stop and smell the roses or wildflowers or dog shit?
Funny thing is that the essays in Master's book are supreme examples of his ability to stay present to the moment even while sitting on death row.
And I had to lose the book in order to get it.
Labels: freedom, Jarvis Jay Masters
posted by Carol at 9:03 AM
9 Comments:
I'm not sure how to respond here. "Congratulations on losing your book!" sounds both appropriate and inappropriate at the same time.
I'm tempted to say "I hope you have many more unpleasant experiences!" but that doesn't sound quite right either.
I guess the right thing to say is, "I'm glad this worked out well for you, and thank you for passing along what you learned."
Thomas,
Your dilemma gave me a smile...
Thanks for your kind words.
I'm glad for anything that can help bring freedom to this crazy life!
Sometimes we have to lose or give up something to gain wisdom... Thanks for sharing!
Amy
You're right, Amy...
BTW, why can't I post a comment on your blog??? I lieu of that, I want to thank you for posting the WhereTheHellIsMatt video. There's something about dancing that brings smiles to everyone's faces. I've enjoyed catching up on your other recent posts as well.
indigo incarnates
well... we certainly have lost a lot of personal freedom under George Bush, thanks to the Patriot Act, wiretapping, and triple-digit inflation.
I'm happy to say that I'm finding a lot of spiritual freedom this year now that I'm a Wiccan seeker (student of Wicca).
I’ve found that each moment of life teaches me something—if I am willing to practice “mindfulness.”
Unfortunately, I seldom really practice mindfulness.
That’s were mediation comes in: as I sit zazen often what I mindfully missed creeps into my awareness.
Of course, that only happens when I remember to sit zazen.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, even living a simple life can become so complex!
Blessings, Carol.
Indigo,
I'm so happy that you're finding freedom in your spiritual practice!
Nick,
:-)
I think that you are mindful much of the time - with or without your cushion.
Peace and blessings to you, my friend!
:)
When the first comment is so insightful it's hard for a thread to improve on it. Still : you saw it first and shared that insight. Which only leaves something as inane as "Life is a funny old thing, isn't it ?"
Hello Opit!
Thanks for visiting!
Maybe that saying is inane, but if we really paid attention to it and believed it, do you think that we might laugh more???
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