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Saturday, May 17, 2008
Grief
To The Place of My Birth
Records show that I was born in a hospital
in a small mid-western town.
I don't remember that,
so it's only a story to me.
But I remember the land
that gave birth to who I am now.
That place in the desert, 2004.
My first vision quest was a trial
that helped me to see myself, to
face my fears and find my place
on this earth.
My second quest revealed the
inner strength I didn't know I had.
I have the grommet that ripped out
of my tarp to help me remember.
And the visceral feeling of owl wings
above my body will never go away.
Dear BLM, you can take away the land
that gave me birth, just like death can
take away my mother,
but no one can take away the
inner freedom and wisdom that
was gained in those wonderful moments.
There is a place in the desert that is my favorite place to be. I have done two vision quests there and camped there 3 or 4 times. When I'm there, I feel that I'm home.
The first few times we went there, we never saw a soul the whole time. Then, suddenly, people started driving and biking through - especially on weekends. We could be hidden from their view, but we couldn't block out the noise of their motors and loud voices. Still, we could go there in the middle of the week and pretty much have the place to ourselves.
I just finished speaking with a friend who returned from this favorite area. She said that it's now closed to any camping (We have never seen another soul camping there when we've been there.) Yep! Now, only motorized vehicles, bikers and hikers can come through for the day. Our quiet, earth-respecting, leave-no-trace camping is not allowed, but bring on the smelly, noisy, earth-damaging all-terrains!
I am glad that Abbey is not here to see what has happened to the desert wilderness he so loved.
Labels: desert, Edward Abbey, loss
posted by Carol at 8:10 AM
4 comments
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Sensuality, Wisdom, and Fragility of the Earth
I don't know how to express how much I love the desert. I love it like I love my children. I can be hiking there and suddenly feel a rush of overwhelming joy that comes from deep inside myself. I can sit for hours watching lizards, and tears of gratitude will just spontaneously fall. I bask in the beauty and solitude, but I also feel great grief at the damage that we do to our earth.
This year, we arrived in the desert the day after a rainstorm. The washes were still wet with the sensual undulations created by the water run-off.
Last year at this time, I wrote about the fragility of the desert's cryptobiotic soil. Re-reading that, I find that I can't do a better job of expressing myself this year, so I pasted last year's post below. I have now been to this area of the desert five times. You would not be able to find any evidence of that. We leave no trace. After we have packed up, I sweep our site with a piece of wood that I find, so no footprints or any other markings are left. We avoid walking on fragile cryptobiotic soil, and the footprints we leave as we hike in sand will blow smooth in very little time.
This is cryptobiotic soil. It is precious. What you see here has probably taken at least 100 years for our mother earth to create. And we can easily destroy it in a moment.
Close-up
We have visited our spot in the desert four times. The first two times, we didn't see a soul outside of our own group. But recently, the BLM created a map of the area and now, occasional bikers and ATV-ers wander through. On this trip, we heard a couple of ATV groups one morning. We were well-hidden and escaped detection - but we still got to hear the engines and loud voices from our camp-site.
The photo above shows some of the cryptobiotic soil that is prevalent in the desert. This soil is critical to the desert's health. Unfortunately, many ATV-ers and 4-wheel drive vehicle drivers (yes, and some hikers) either don't know or don't care about taking care of our earth and they end up driving over this precious soil, ruining it for many years.
From wikipedia:
"Soil crusts are important members of desert ecosystems and contribute to the well-being of other plants by stabilizing sand and dirt, promoting moisture retention, and fixing atmospheric nitrogen. Because of their thin, fiberous nature, cryptobiotic soils are extremely fragile systems. A single footprint or tire track is sufficient to disrupt the soil crust and damage the organisms. While some species within the soil crust system may regrow within a few years of a disturbance, the damage to slow-growing species may require more than a century before the delicate soil returns to its former productivity. This sensitivity to disturbance means that travelers in arid regions should be mindful of their impact on cryptobiotic soils. As a general rule, visitors should stay on pre-existing roads and trails, only traveling off-trail on durable surfaces such as bedrock or river gravel."
In addition to leaving an ugly footprint on the land and sometimes ruining this fragile soil, ATV-ers create a noise that assaults my ears as I commune with the quiet beauty around me. I find it hard to understand why someone would go to the beauty of the desert only to mar that beauty through creating tracks that last a long time. Why would you go to a naturally serene spot and create noise with engines and loud voices?
A big part of me can't wait until we run out of oil. I won't be able to get to the desert then, but at least the earth will be able to heal itself.
This year, we arrived in the desert the day after a rainstorm. The washes were still wet with the sensual undulations created by the water run-off.
Last year at this time, I wrote about the fragility of the desert's cryptobiotic soil. Re-reading that, I find that I can't do a better job of expressing myself this year, so I pasted last year's post below. I have now been to this area of the desert five times. You would not be able to find any evidence of that. We leave no trace. After we have packed up, I sweep our site with a piece of wood that I find, so no footprints or any other markings are left. We avoid walking on fragile cryptobiotic soil, and the footprints we leave as we hike in sand will blow smooth in very little time.
This is cryptobiotic soil. It is precious. What you see here has probably taken at least 100 years for our mother earth to create. And we can easily destroy it in a moment.
Close-up
We have visited our spot in the desert four times. The first two times, we didn't see a soul outside of our own group. But recently, the BLM created a map of the area and now, occasional bikers and ATV-ers wander through. On this trip, we heard a couple of ATV groups one morning. We were well-hidden and escaped detection - but we still got to hear the engines and loud voices from our camp-site.
The photo above shows some of the cryptobiotic soil that is prevalent in the desert. This soil is critical to the desert's health. Unfortunately, many ATV-ers and 4-wheel drive vehicle drivers (yes, and some hikers) either don't know or don't care about taking care of our earth and they end up driving over this precious soil, ruining it for many years.
From wikipedia:
"Soil crusts are important members of desert ecosystems and contribute to the well-being of other plants by stabilizing sand and dirt, promoting moisture retention, and fixing atmospheric nitrogen. Because of their thin, fiberous nature, cryptobiotic soils are extremely fragile systems. A single footprint or tire track is sufficient to disrupt the soil crust and damage the organisms. While some species within the soil crust system may regrow within a few years of a disturbance, the damage to slow-growing species may require more than a century before the delicate soil returns to its former productivity. This sensitivity to disturbance means that travelers in arid regions should be mindful of their impact on cryptobiotic soils. As a general rule, visitors should stay on pre-existing roads and trails, only traveling off-trail on durable surfaces such as bedrock or river gravel."
In addition to leaving an ugly footprint on the land and sometimes ruining this fragile soil, ATV-ers create a noise that assaults my ears as I commune with the quiet beauty around me. I find it hard to understand why someone would go to the beauty of the desert only to mar that beauty through creating tracks that last a long time. Why would you go to a naturally serene spot and create noise with engines and loud voices?
A big part of me can't wait until we run out of oil. I won't be able to get to the desert then, but at least the earth will be able to heal itself.
Labels: cryptobiotic soil, desert, photography
posted by Carol at 8:28 AM
4 comments
Friday, September 28, 2007
You Can Take a Woman Out of the Desert
But You Can't Take the Desert out of the Woman
I didn't want to come back!
We left for the desert on a cool, cloudy morning. At the Eisenhower Tunnel, which goes through the continental divide at an elevation of over 11,000 feet, we drove through some SNOW! Oh, I am not ready for snow yet...
It had rained in the desert the day before we arrived, so all evidence that humans have ever ventured there was washed away. Only the footprints of full-time resident animals showed themselves in the wet sand. And we never saw another human until the moment we left, three days later.
I didn't want to come back!
We left for the desert on a cool, cloudy morning. At the Eisenhower Tunnel, which goes through the continental divide at an elevation of over 11,000 feet, we drove through some SNOW! Oh, I am not ready for snow yet...
It had rained in the desert the day before we arrived, so all evidence that humans have ever ventured there was washed away. Only the footprints of full-time resident animals showed themselves in the wet sand. And we never saw another human until the moment we left, three days later.
The western sky the first evening.
And at the same time, in the east...
What a welcoming!Labels: desert, photography
posted by Carol at 8:45 AM
9 comments
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Carrot Art
I always grow weird carrots
Shorty With Schnoz
Brian Andreas CharacterI'm taking my carrots and retreating to the desert. I'll be back when I've found the meaning of life.
Labels: Brian Andreas, desert, garden
posted by Carol at 1:06 PM
2 comments
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
The View Outside My Kitchen Window
Sometimes I go to the desert to stop and sit with this "me" that calls itself Carol. This time I went to the lusciousness of Whidbey Island. This was the view outside our kitchen window.
the landscape of the desert,
whether it be the incessant heat on the sand
or the dearth of hope when in pain and suffering,
brings me to my edge
and then I find that I am edgeless
the intoxication of cool, moist forest,
whether it be when the morning fog opens
or the moments when everything goes my way,
calls me to expand
and then I find that all I am the expanse
the playgrounds change
it appears that I do, too
but Something carries through
Labels: desert, Whidbey Island
posted by Carol at 10:00 AM
2 comments