Saturday, May 17, 2008
Grief
To The Place of My Birth
Records show that I was born in a hospital
in a small mid-western town.
I don't remember that,
so it's only a story to me.
But I remember the land
that gave birth to who I am now.
That place in the desert, 2004.
My first vision quest was a trial
that helped me to see myself, to
face my fears and find my place
on this earth.
My second quest revealed the
inner strength I didn't know I had.
I have the grommet that ripped out
of my tarp to help me remember.
And the visceral feeling of owl wings
above my body will never go away.
Dear BLM, you can take away the land
that gave me birth, just like death can
take away my mother,
but no one can take away the
inner freedom and wisdom that
was gained in those wonderful moments.
There is a place in the desert that is my favorite place to be. I have done two vision quests there and camped there 3 or 4 times. When I'm there, I feel that I'm home.
The first few times we went there, we never saw a soul the whole time. Then, suddenly, people started driving and biking through - especially on weekends. We could be hidden from their view, but we couldn't block out the noise of their motors and loud voices. Still, we could go there in the middle of the week and pretty much have the place to ourselves.
I just finished speaking with a friend who returned from this favorite area. She said that it's now closed to any camping (We have never seen another soul camping there when we've been there.) Yep! Now, only motorized vehicles, bikers and hikers can come through for the day. Our quiet, earth-respecting, leave-no-trace camping is not allowed, but bring on the smelly, noisy, earth-damaging all-terrains!
I am glad that Abbey is not here to see what has happened to the desert wilderness he so loved.
Labels: desert, Edward Abbey, loss
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